I was sitting listening to the David Gray song - say hello & wave goodbye


Take your hands off me, hey

I don't belong to you, you see

Take a look in my face, for the last time

I never knew you, you never knew me

Say hello goodbye

Say hello and wave goodbye

The lyrics took me back a few years to a night that Scot and I were in morriarties in Cumbernauld and this years love by David Gray came on. I dont know if Scot remembers that he started singing along to the song. That was not the first time it hit me. I am falling in love with this guy.

Anyway for some time after that night I repeatedly listened to the David Gray album white ladder, probably because it brought back the memory of that night. One day in work (dobbies) i was trying to find a cd to put on for when I was unpacking a delivery and I spotted the white ladder album so I stuck it on.

There I am sitting on a crate full of candles and burning oil when all of a sudden I start crying. The pain of knowing that I had fallen in love with someone that I didnt think would ever love me back the way I loved him. The pain of knowing that this guy is in love with someone else. I have really cared for people ive had relationships with in the past but this was the first time I had truly loved someone so much that it hurt.

Everyone close to me knows how this turned out. Believe me, I never thought that 3 years later we would be together, that I could be with Scot and have him love me back as much as I love him, but I guess real life can have happy endings too and its not just saved for fairytales!

I love Scot with all of my heart. He has no idea how happy it makes me to look into his eyes and see how much he cares for me.


(will keep the rest of the memories for another blog!)

well I made it to Dubai safe and sound. I managed to sort out a laptop for my parents which means I will have net access and will be able to keep in touch with everyone. Myspace was actually a blocked site in the uae but Dubai have unblocked it due to the amount of people complaining. The only thing...the messages page, the friends request page and the bulletins are still blocked, so I can update my page and view other peoples but I cant read the messages or bulletins that anyone post. Its crazy and very very annoying.

I picked up the 7 days paper the night I arrived and spotted an add for the desert rythm festival and John Mayer is one of the artists playing at it!!!! I am so excited, cant wait till the 26th October.

OK im gonna go get showered and ready then head down to the pool. Got a busy day of sunbathing and swimming ahead of me!

Peace and love always,
Karen , training jumeirah jane
xx

and sometimes I wonder why im not a people person!!

aaaaaaanyways.

So im getting my little self ready for "The Move" and I decide to do a little research on the "gay scene" in Dubai. I dunno maybe its Susan convincing me to re-watch an episode from series 3 of the L Word, Maybe its one too many nights out at El Bennets, maybe one too many glasses of red wine, whatever it is, it got my back up so much that I felt the need to post a blog about its ridiculosity.

I type the words "Dubai Gay Scene" Into my faithful friend google and find myself at a forum all about gay life in the middle east. I follow a link here and there only to find myself reading an article about what the middle east gay journal describes as demonization.

Saudi authorities arrested 20 young men after raiding a suspected gay wedding in the southern town of Jizan, a newspaper reported on Wednesday.

The detainees, who were among some 400 men attending "the wedding party of two men" on Tuesday, had been "emulating women," the Al-Watan paper said.

In all, some 250 people were detained in the police raid on the party but the rest were later released.

Police had "arrested the wanted people and released those who have nothing to do with the matter," the paper quoted a police commander as saying.

Some guests were also seen chewing qat, an illegal narcotic widely used in neighbouring Yemen, on a hill above the square where the party was being held, Al-Watan said.

It has been pointed out that there are extremely few people who will stand up for the rights of gay people in the Middle East.

People against homosexuality I can understand, ive been there walking down Queen street, holding hands with a girl and getting more abuse thrown at me than I did in high school, but being arrested for loving someone so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, whether they be gay, straight or a fucking llama, and share the experience with the people that you love. Why are people so against this and feel the need to set laws against it!

I am not a gay female, but I have many gay friends, its what I know and love. How can people bring themselves to set these rules

Sexual activity : Same-sex male : Illegal same-sex female : Illegal

Goodnight!

I dont post on here nealy as much as I should. Mainly due to myspace. Im on there nearly every day so it is easier just to post a blog on there. I will get back into the routine of posting on here too.

Alot has been happening. Ive started a new job at the Inland Revenue in Cumbernauld. Its going great. It was originaly only a temp job till September but my contract has been extended to February when the unit I work in closes down. My manager told me on our 1to1 the other day that if I am still there next year I could apply for a managers position! Will see how it goes.

My house has finaly sold. Im not really sure how I feel about that. Im happy that it has finaly sold and I dont need to worry about viewings anymore but I cant help but feel a little sad that will be leaving my home of 14 years. I have alot of memories here, both bad and good. My parents are coming home on the 11th August and the new couple are moving in on the 18th August. I think we are gonna be renting a flat in Falkirk until we decide about Dubai.

Scot and I are going to Dubai on the 29th September till the 14th October. We are both really excited. This will be the first proper abroad holiday we have been on together. This will be Scots first time in Dubai, im sure he will love it its hard not to! Depending on what Scot thinks of the place there is a good chance we could be moving there in March next year. Its a big decision to make. We will need to check out the jobs and things before deciding but we will take it as it comes.

My website has gone down, mainly because I dont have the time anymore to update it. Ive not done any design since I started this new job. I just dont seem to have the time to spare anymore, that and I seem to have a mental block when it comes to making anything. I sit in front of the computer and start to design a website or a myspace layout and it doesnt look right so I scrap it and move on to do something else.

Was at John & Hazels for dinner on saturday night. It was a beautiful meal. Everytime they make dinner its like something you would get at a fancy restaurant. The chocolate fountain was my favourite part! (no surprise there as Scot would say :P ) I managed to change the colour of Scots shirt from white to pink. I nudged my glass of red wine with my foot and spilled a little on the floor and on Scots foot, so I went to the kitchen got a cloth to clean up my mess and top up my glass, when I sat back down on the couch the glass slid right out of my hand onto Scot. I of course found this very funny, maybe because that wasnt my first glass of wine that night! dont think Scot found it as funny, especialy the next morning as he sat eating his roll and bacon with a wet pink shirt!

I went out 2 weeks ago and bought a 2 layer hutch for Alfie, he is loving it. Everytime we go to take him out he runs into the sleeping area and thumps his foot so im guessing he doesnt wanna come out of it!

I suppose I better go finish getting ready for work.
Peace & Love as always

Karen x

You know its getting bad when your old boss tracks you down over the internet!! I received this comment from one of mine -

"HI KAREN IT'S IAN HERE YOUR OLD BOSS BEEN READING YOUR COMMENTS ALTHOUGH NOTHING BAD HAS BEEN WRITTEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE DOING THIS DIARY - TO BE QUITE HONEST - YOU HAVE TO HAVE MY PERMISSION TO WRITE ABOUT ME AND YOU HAVE TO CHECK THE LEGAL DETAILS ABOUT WRITING ABOUT AMT'S BUSINESS ON THE INTERNET - I WOULD ADVISE YOU TO DELETE ANY REFERENCE TO MYSELF OR I MAY HAVE TO CONTACT MY LAWYER"

Now I am no legal whiz but I know for a fact that I do not have to get your permission to write about you in my online journal using your first name. Nor is it illegal for me to state that I worked for AMT. I am not using any slander against yourself or the company I was simply stating the fact that I worked for amt and that I had a boss called Ian. And to get another thing straight I was not writing about AMT's business, I wrote about events that happened to me on that date. If I receive any further communications from you I will personally contact the head of AMT to advise that you are searching for me over the internet and harassing me online and we can see what they want to do about that.